Naked tits

I mean, it is a foreign body, so like Donald Trump, your body tries to chuck it out. Perhaps see of The Donald could build you some birth control wall or something - the Mexicans will pay.

Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you can shed your uterine lining in big chunks rather than having it disintegrate into a period. Big, rubbery, grey, fleshy, sticky chunks.

My sister and I commute to work, and a common conversation between us is, “Cramps or poop?”

Nuvaring gave me very dramatic vaginal discharge. So much discharge. Often, when I removed the ring, it would come with the hugest glob of discharge.

Any illness is made 100x worse by addition of menstruation

OH FUCK. FUCK.

I realized as I was typing that it is pretty gross. Chased it with grape soda. Learned a lesson.

I remember doing the sitting on a toilet while puking in a trash can thing after drinking an E. coli smoothie. The highlight was when my then two year out son barged in, stood right in front of me and started marching in place while singing ya ya ya ya over and over again. It’s funny now, but in the state I was in,…

This reminds me of when I got food poisoning while being on the first day of my period- I was sitting on the toilet with WAY worse cramps than usual, thought I had uterine cancer and that I would probably die shortly. I even called my mom because I was getting really freaked out. Finally I violently threw up the…

I had norovirus so bad it started my period early. I had period shits and virus shits and projectile vomiting for 2 straight days.

You win.

Not super gross but scary and weird:

I had a cyst on my head. It was gross and I had no idea why, as a healthy, normal 24-year-old woman with exceptional bathing habits, I was cursed with such a thing. Anyway. There it sat. Every now and then I would poke at it, get squicked, leave it alone for a few more months.

I was taking a shower and washing my butt, as you do, and pulled on something. Kept pulling. Started freaking the fuck out. Threw whatever it was against the wall and kept freaking out. Thought for sure I had some sort of intestinal worm. It was a rice noodle. That I pulled out of my butt.

Yeah, giving birth was pretty gross experience overall. Also, no one really sufficiently warned me just how gross the bleeding for weeks after birth would be. I had these INCHES, almost a FOOT long, stringy, gluey clots coming out of me for almost a MONTH.

I had a cyst next to my twig and berries. Big one. I had it checked out by a doctor who said it was benign, but that she could remove it, but that I’d be laid up for a few days. I don’t really trust knives down there, so since it was officially declared harmless, I just let it be. A few years later (about a year ago,…

who is that cross-eyed goober