They were both excellent.

I had that same exact question when I applied to UChicago. They must use that pretty often.

The trippy thing is that you may have discovered where the photon is, but you have no idea where its going or how fast its getting there.

I don't know. I have a sneaking suspicion that the consciousness would die along with the rest of the body during the quantum deconstruction, and the new copy of the body at the destination would have its own, identical consciousness. I don't think I want to die so an identical copy of me can save time in its commute.

Sure, I actually did shoot him, but he's getting better!

I'm sure he had his fair share.

The abstainers are finally gone! I had a giant margarita to celebrate. It was better than sex.

As if all people in nations typically thought of as "third world" (a nasty, outdated concept in the first place) don't have air conditioning.

It actually says a lot about the way they do business. To them, lawyers are probably only useful for hurting other people, and they would never see an (almost certainly intellectually superior) attorney as a valuable adviser.

"Wait, do I double-click this? Or do I highlight and right-click?"

And delicious when fried.

"Shut up! You're gonna ruin our monopoly!"

[faints dead away]

And I personally think the so-called "Patriots" of the Revolutionary War were maybe just being a little dickish about those stamp taxes. Seriously, was it worth all the lives lost? And let us consider for a brief moment that, without the Revolution, we never would have had the Second Amendment.

LOL who can afford to pay fact-checkers?

The lingering effects of concussive contact persist even during the offseason, and after retirement as well. So, for the players, in a way, football never ends.

Verbal agreements are binding in some circumstances, but musical agreements are right out!

Somehow dirtier

Get Shkreli, McFarlane, Tarantino, and Donald Trump Jr. in a room together, and the universe might just collapse in on itself trying to punch them all.

Contender?