Too bad this would never work for the Falllllllllllcons.

Also in trouble for exceeding its W limit? America.

Shit, is that Shamrock Malphite?

True story. I once got in a bar fight with them a few years back while I was on vacation. I was enjoying the Mediterranean air having a bottle of Pietra Ale when we started arguing. Next thing I know I'm toe to toe with one of them. I punched him in the mouth as hard as I could. Should have knocked him out. He barely…

"See? They all look the same."

Carmelo Anthony on the Knicks: "You know why I'm here?"

J.R. Smith on Cleveland: "It is a city."

"Headlines of 2015 that I didn't expect to read:"

I didn't really care who wins on Sunday, but now I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than for Lynch to score 6 touchdowns, grab his crotch after every one, win the MVP, receive the trophy from Goodell and get interviewed on the podium after. IF THERE'S A JUST GOD THIS WILL HAPPEN.

Actually, the Sphinx was the one asking the stupid questions.

After watching that clip, one thing became clear.

Watching the media deal with Marshawn Lynch is like watching a man bash himself in the head with a hammer and then complain about his headache.

Marshawn should give a lengthy interview concerning his thoughts on deflate-gate. The media universe would collapse within itself. A black hole of hot takes.

For Blizzard games and its MOBA offshoots money, pure and simple.

I know literally no one that gives half a damn what the players say to reporters after the game. It's always some variation on thanking God, then saying it was a team effort, then saying they were all just focused and ready to execute. The end, no one gives a shit.

All these "talking to the media is part of the deal, it's why he gets paid" pundits baffle me. As far as I'm concerned his job is playing football, preferably in a visually entertaining fashion. I could not possibly give less of a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut whether or not he talks to the press. I suspect the…

Note: not a Seahawks fan, even a little bit.

I prefer his Skittles press conference

I tried the same tactic while appearing at traffic court the other day.

This guy is the most popular interview in the NFL right now. Why do they want this to end?