Little know fact, back in the 1960s and 70s, men actually had tiny turkey brains so any time they showered there was always a risk that they would look up at the showerhead and open their mouths, thereby drowning in the process. Because women were too smart to do this, it was actually imperative they every man had a…

The number of people who care more about shallow symbols of patriotism than actually trying to make the country better is depressing as shit.

Because parties and family time and gifts and all the associated shiny, silly rubbish that goes with Christmas is still fun? And if you’re not religious you still get all that but you also get to skip mass.

Your lips to the players’ knees, my friend.

Don’t discount the appointment of conservative justices to the Supreme Court. In my Republican Red neck of the woods (pun not originally intended but once I saw it I couldn’t bring myself to remove it), the most important thing is regulating a woman’s uterus. They’d put up with any dunce who was willing to do that.…

“too much big govt invading my life”

A reminder: The leader of the world’s most powerful military sees everything through the lens of TV ratings.

This mofo doesn’t know the f’n words and is lip synching the last line like every other faux patriot who demands everyone around him stand up when the anthem is played. America, you voted for this!?!

I’m going hiking tomorrow morning, but I also still plan to go for a run on Sunday morning. Thanks for inquiring after my exercise routine. It’s nice to know you care.

Oh yeah. This too:

Have you always believed in forced acts of patriotism or is it a new thing?

Aw, look at you. How charming.

If this were a just world every NFL player would kneel for the anthem after hearing that.

Any NFL player with an ounce of moral fiber needs to protest in solidarity with Kaep. The very same flag that Kaep is kneeling against is draped behind this megalomaniac, senile racist as he cheerleads for billionaire owners to fire their black employees for protesting social injustices.

He is such a fucking embarrassment.

Oh PLEASE, assholes. PLEASE leave when someone kneels for the anthem. Games will be so much better without you.

Being kind and charitable isn’t tied to deity worship.

I know how to do it. Call my 900 number and I will tell you how. Only $3.99 per minute, and I talk a little slow. 1-900-be-a-psyc

Look, man—do whatever is going to get you through a day that requires calling your senators yet again about healthcare

This is only news because the money wasn’t sent to a mega church.