Well I mean, he's Braison, man. Braison. Braisoooooon! You know who else I liked who never got much play? Was Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was a hip chick. She was a hip lady.

Or, even better, a Weird Owl.

If a statue doesn't consent, is it "statutory" rape?

Dear Geoffrey Miller: Don't presume to lecture anyone on "willpower" while issuing mea culpas featuring the word "impulsive."

Yes, I was terribly afraid that I might be working class! Such a relief to realise that I'm safe from that dreadful fate.

I hope Moffat's era will be over soon.

You have to tell her the truth. It's not fair to her to string her along if you have no intentions of having children. If you're discussing marriage or commitment, you will only delay the inevitable. I've seen marriages break up so many times over this. Plus, we women have a shelf life when it comes to children. It's…

"It wouldn’t be at all difficult to mock Adam and Heather, but they seem really sincere, and making fun of sincere people is like making fun of folk music — after a while, you start to realize that you’re the asshole."

God, I want to see this film so badly. Swinto and Hiddleston play vampires for Jim Jarmusch? YES PLEASE OBVIOUSLY.

I feel like if the New York Times or the Washington Post wrote an article referring to a pedophile rapist as simply someone with a "patchy" history, I'd be reading a Jezebel article shaming them right now.

Make sure you find someone who definitely does not want to have kids, not someone who will settle for not having kids because she loves you. I've seen it happen with couples and you just end up with a lot of resentment. There are plenty of women who don't want kids out there, you can find one!

Mine does it sometimes, when he's freaked out by something. Or by nothing. It's like he has a massive stroke, becomes a mime, and then recovers completely within a few seconds.

WHY don't I look like Milla Jovovich? So, so gorgeous.

Goddamnit Timothy (and Gawker commentariat), never ever let another story about Wolf Blitzer be posted without this picture somewhere:

Oh gawd, I feel like you couldn't kill that even if you threw it into Mount Doom.

People who put their own bodies before those of our children should get paid more than $35,000/yr.

#Corrections

"If Your Boyfriend Tells You Your Vagina is Repulsive (He is Probably in Want of a Boyfriend of His Own)."

So, there are literally dozens of them?

My first thought: spontaneous combustion. Maybe red wasn't a good choice for the only color.