I love that story! His playing on “Some Like it Hot” is incredible and you can tell how hard he’s hitting, but it wouldn’t be as cool of a song without it.

He claims not to know who he is, but somehow knows the completed details of his alleged crime. Right.

At first I was like, I don’t get it. You’re saying Madonna should play Madonna? She’s pretty old now and I ... .OHHHHhhhhhhh....

Only one person can play Madonna: her daughter Lourdes. Like her mom, she probably can’t act either, so it’ll be perfect.

It wouldn’t matter if she can’t act. Madonna can’t act either.

if you are going to turn off his water and i assume not give him food-you better fucking remember his name you fucking power hungry, sadistic asshole.

He’d have to remove his lips from Trump’s butthole first.

Woah, no kidding. Have you seen any of her acting?

Here’s my favorite piece of Madonna trivia, from the Like a Virgin sessions (produced by Nile Rodgers and retold here by engineer Jason Corsaro):

Well I already know who should play young Madonna:

Cruel, barbaric murder.

What average middle school has 2000 students?!

“I have nearly 1000 inmates. I don’t know all their names but is this the guy who was in custody for shooting up the Potawatomi Casino causing one man to be hit by gunfire while in possession of a firearm by a career convicted felon?” Clarke said. “The media never reports that in stories about him. If that is him,…

Feigning ignorance is a weird fucking way to go. I have too many inmates to remember all the names of the guys who have died in my custody in the last year. I remember the specific details of what they did that led them to my custody, but once they get here...who can keep track?

It’s not about the crimes this man committed.

Just what we need. A sadist with a badge and a command who models his behavior on Colonel Jessup.

Hmm, I don’t actually know if it constitutes torture. What say we subject Sheriff David Clarke and the prison guards to the same treatment, and see if it kills them too?

Spent 9 days in jail, 8 in solitary, 7 without water.

“I have nearly 1000 inmates in my prison, half the size of your average middle school, I can’t remember all the names that my staff tortures and kills.”

That’s fucking torture.