I sense something. A presence I’ve not felt since...

Similarly, when I open the front door, nobody expects me to have pants on.

Human bodies are so fucking cool! Like, it’s actually possible to attach someone else’s body part to your own and, if done properly, your body is like “Welcome to the party, brah. Let’s get you up and running. Please ignore the liver; he’s cranky AF on Mondays.” Science, man.

Yeah, I tried that water thing. all my 8 month old puppy does is bark at it thinking it’s going to eat her.

Yeah, I tried that water thing. all my 8 month old puppy does is bark at it thinking it’s going to eat her.

Found on ebay:

2015 USAF Ghostrider Gunship
One of a kind
Babied...never tracked or raced...never wintered.
New wings and recently replaced OEM flight crew buckets.
$50 million OBO.
No tire kickers, no mavericks.

real conversation i’ve had with a tinder date

How did Washington’s lawyers gain access to my browser history?

I am just glad that makers have to clear their own levels.

We found out about Vigo, the master of evil. Try to battle our boys? That’s not legal.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

This was one of the best books that I’ve ever read.

Overheard two seconds earlier:

“I always destroy my old cell phones.”

Yay! I’m iut of the greys!

At last, video evidence that 2:24 is faster than 2:26.

Haha, fuck you too! :D

I really hate this concept people have of our bodies being filled with unnamed “toxins” ready to kill us at any moment, and in order to ensure our survival, we have to go out of our way to “flush” them.

Why does a self-driving car need the wipers going..?