I have said this before and it never stops being true: Donnie sounds like someone trying to have a serious conversation on a ball of cocaine. I really can’t listen to him talk, and when I read the shit he said, he sounds like a puppy that has too many shiny objects and noise makers around it.

Just like the strippers, JFK and Stalin.

I’ll tell you who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma. My parents, Martha Stewart and William Shakespeare.

Here’s a nice story about Amy Schumer, an emergency bathroom stop and a $2,000 good deed.

Pot and kettle?

Is “aw, shucks” okay, then? Just asking.

Gosh darn it, both of you knock it off!

What the heck are you talking about?

Gosh, can y’all imagine a time when such innocuous imagery got magazines seized and someone tried? What would those folks think of magazine covers today?

Hey, if a rapper can’t wear a female steampunk cosplay outfit, then I will just give up on life.

Dude always dresses like he’s blind.

Russell Westbrook: “I don’t give a fuck about the line.”

What’s up with the Derek Zoolander attire?

I’m not racist! I’ve seen every episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air!

Jesus. Thank you!

You know people can be Cuban AND white, correct?

But Jezebel doesn’t say he identifies as white, and I’m not sure why it matters whether he identifies as white Cuban American or just a Cuban American. He used a racial slur for another race and was insulting and degrading to a colleague in a professional setting. There’s no amount of context about his background…

Right? And what the hell is “bitch” and “fucking assholes” slang for?

Real fucking weird.

I hear some drunk ass Asian dudes calling each other that the other night.