Your innocent white liberal complex is getting the best of you here...

[Rick Ross Bawse Voice]Whip it real hard! Whip it, whip it real hard! [/Rick Ross Bawse Voice]

Anyway, that's a fine vacation out-of-office message, until your colleague comes back and forgets to turn that shit off for eight days. Then it's the worst thing ever.

Plot twist: The dirt bike rider is a cop.

Is that you, Donald?

I'm black.

If I had a dollar for every "GUBMENT MOTERS" comment I would be a multi-millionare. No exaggeration.