No, not witchcraft—this obviously happened because it was caught on a few frames of video.

I knew what I was getting into when I clicked on this, but I still feel regret.

No one circles the wagons like... the flailing student bodies of the student body?

“We would like to reassure everyone that we have found no significant offenses associated with Kent State football in the history of the program...”

Actually, this is just part of the NFL’s new rules for proactively protecting the shield, as he will clearly have trouble standing for the anthem next week.

I think he probably just saw signs the offense was stalin.

Underperforming brass sullies another Iowa band performance.

Pitcher: “Your frequent replacement of perfectly fine baseballs is excessive.”

Umpire: “What? Why wouldn’t the Freemasons find Spaceballs impressive?”

[...mutual confused silence...]

Pitcher, Umpire, Batter, and Catcher together: “Bill Pullman sucks.”

The sophomore is currently facing a felony child pornography charge for sending a video from 2016 of his then-15-year-old ex-girlfriend being sexually assaulted to the victim herself.

This shifty-eyed smelling salt dealer’s “coast is clear” skills are extremely suspect.

This is ridiculous. When, in the history of the sport, has a butt contributed to any type of difficulty holding on to a football.

I hopes you isn’t no paid commenter with thems writin skillz and misteakss .

Judging by that first sentence, you’ve been reading too many of Billy’s articles.

It’s uh...it’s not the people or diversity that determine if it’s cow country...it’s all the goddamn cows.  Enjoy your crowded cow city though.

Gary Fencik was pretty good.

Yeah, I know I’m the one who invited the Duncan comparison, but I honestly wasn’t suggesting he’s the same player, just wasn’t ready to drop the grade all the way to Butt, so I went top shelf. Jackson looks like he could be really good.

I know, can you imagine? It’s almost the same as if Deadspin wrote a mediocre basketblog post or two, received mild but arguably legitimate criticism, and then deleted those criticizing threads and/or blocked those commenters. I know—as non Diaper Babies, you would never let that happen, so it’s not a perfect analogy*.…

I certainly didn’t wake up today to defend Deandre Ayton, but why do we think he was so bad? His rookie season was on par with Tim Duncan statistically per 36 min. Dude shot 58% from the floor as a rook while putting up 16 and 10 and a 1:1 turnover ratio (I mention cuz that’s usually a problem for young centers…

Lowry: “Kawhi, now that the season’s over, I gotta tell ya, you seem like you could use a good laugh.”

Kawhi: “Nah man, I feel good, everything’s great” **starts to laugh casually**

Lowry: NO STOP THAT—FOR THE LOVE OF GOOD MAN PLEASE GET A GOOD LAUGH

I’m not even sure what this means, but I find it my duty as a visitor to Deadspin to star everything you post, and to eternally boo Burneko and the unconscionable embarrassment of a performance Deadspin put forth on that AD piece.