*Holds cue card to head*
Things Ricky Gervais says to the mirror when waking up in the morning.

"Hollister, Abercrombie, and Urban Outfitters don't stock clothes in anything larger than XL and I am very offended. You should treat your customers from the midwest better than this."

"Hollister, Abercrombie, and Urban Outfitters don't stock clothes in anything larger than XL and I am very offended. You should treat your customers from the midwest better than this."

That's just what a pretentious elitist would say!

That's just what a pretentious elitist would say!

The Juggalo Galleon consists of rafts fashioned from XXXL sized black shirts, empty faygo bottles and clown makeup.

The Juggalo Galleon consists of rafts fashioned from XXXL sized black shirts, empty faygo bottles and clown makeup.

Cathartic: It is also a fat Angry Drunk hick thing.

Cathartic: It is also a fat Angry Drunk hick thing.

By falling off the stage on his way to the exit?

By falling off the stage on his way to the exit?

Please, if Steven Tyler was one of the Thundercats, he'd be Snarf.

Please, if Steven Tyler was one of the Thundercats, he'd be Snarf.

So you only laughed one time today?

So you only laughed one time today?

*voice over as GOB*
…Sometimes the guy's are tapped out. But too bad! Because Check Your Lease, Man! 'Cause you're living - in Fuck City!

*voice over as GOB*
…Sometimes the guy's are tapped out. But too bad! Because Check Your Lease, Man! 'Cause you're living - in Fuck City!

That sounds like it tastes like a Michelada.

That sounds like it tastes like a Michelada.

I totally called them suicides too! …In, uh, T-Ball…
*Slumps shoulders, walks away*
*Christmas-Time Is Here plays*