I know exactly where you're coming from. My grandmother and all her sisters had stomach cancer and I've had this pain in my stomach for about a year, but I'm so terrified of knowing and having to put everyone through that, that I just ignore it. Great plan, huh? I'm sure it's nothing.

Obviously this was a first baby. By the third one, you're like "and clean the toilet if you get a chance! And I'm hungry!" I mean, as long as she's doing work.

Is that a real thing? God, I'm so naive. But is it?!

I love everything you say here. Let's blame the mothers! It's the easiest thing to do, right?

We got our kid a bike! Haha! Please, redeeming things: Her birthday is at Christmas and since I don't give her gifts for no reason, I have to make an occasion out of Easter. I wouldn't be caught dead climbing a tree for an egg. And she's the first child, so we needed a bike around here. Your story did make me chuckle…

No, that's when they fart and use your face cream as hand lotion.

The way she explained how the SNL show takes shape each week is the actors make pitches for scripts. Debbie Downer was her idea, for example. They do have writers who put actors in scenes, but apparently a major aspect of the show is the actor drumming up spots for themselves. She invents particularly ugly characters…

I think it's more of a war story. We want to be revered for our bravery. Although, I guess it does come across as scary or worse- as one-upping when it's told to a new mom who just went through it. Oh well. It's the story of human life and it's not going anywhere. Also, it's not that bad!

I read this book the day it came out. Loved it. It is my theory the reason she gets offers to play "trolls" is because she allowed herself to be type cast. Not a lot of women, even funny ones, would play the one with the baby arm growing out of its head. She goes there and it's hard to go back.

HA! I love these gruesome, over-the-top stories because a) it's all true and b) none of it matters. Explaining birth and breastfeeding to a general audience is like summing up the eating process to an alien. "Your mouth secretes sticky juices and your teeth gnash wildly as they tear through the fleshy bits, reducing…

That really surprises me about the Jessica Simpson assumed-birth story. What if something goes horribly wrong in the delivery and this cover ends up being very hurtful and tasteless? Wait. It's OK magazine. But still - are there really zero manners to these mags?

I love how I share a story in the comments here and "feminists" can't wait to mom-bash me by way of concern trolling. Eating disorder! Weight problem! "Sad for my kid!"

I agree. I'm in Chicago going to the play ground is as much of an activity as going to the grocery etc.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the sun/fear of the sun/sunscreen factor? I'll admit, when it's really bright outside, we stay in until late in the afternoon. Then if the little one falls asleep or it rains, we end up indoors all day. Bad mommy! **presents wrists**

I met Tucker Max at a party once and . . . he was an asshole. Surprise! He also had little yellow corn teeth and he's short. The appeal is completely lost on me. Oh, and he later insulted my blog. His whole schtick is a mystery to me.

This. Infuriating, illogical and confusing. Religious liberty doesn't mean YOU get to tell ME what to do. It means your keep your eyes on your own goddamn bible.

"Because fetuses can feel pain, but not women."

No, I'm glad I didn't tell them to stuff it. They were right. It wasn't fun being yelled at, but I did have a ditz moment and I'm glad they said something. I just really didn't think about the trash in regular popsicles because we literally never buy them. It would be like if you ate at vegan restaurants all your life…

Have you seen Food Inc., Forks Over Knives or read up on this topic in the least? I'm not going to debate you, but here is a great start if you are asking in earnest to be informed: freefromharm.org

Great call about the water. I swear, I'm the biggest nerd. I've got my whole water filter set up and keep everything vegan. I'm surprised I don't wear a tin foil hat!