Was it in iambic pentameter at least?

Update: The service was over two hours long. D: Some Danish kid behind me wouldn’t stop talking. The incense smelled nice. I survived. Thanks for being so sweet, erryone!

Thankfully, I’m charging headlong into the last semester of my senior year (and while I’m away at college, I’m a happy churchless heathen). Almost there! Thank you for the encouragement!

Can we write competing fetus fiction, where the fetus is totally supportive of being terminated so the host can go on to live an excellent life? OR we could go the Tina route and write Freaky Fetus Fiction.

“Last Sunday I had to endure an entire sermon about how God cries when someone gets an abortion, complete with a poem written from the perspective of a fetus who forgives its mommy for killing it, and a comparison between abortion and the holocaust. My parents teared up. It was terrible.”

A poem from the perspective of a fetus.

Oh, that’s fucked up. I’m sorry. :(

I’m going to prank my whole church and family by showing up at the Christmas Eve service and pretending that I still believe a word of what they’re saying! Even going to take Communion.

I made sure to re-tape the original packaging, and apply zip ties to the intricate inner boxing. For added effect.

I saw my mom at the assisted living yesterday. She complained about:

Hey Jezzies, merry Christmas! Mine has been crappy so far (working when I thought I wouldn’t have to, sick dad, no real plans to celebrate Christmas this year, literally no chance yet to have some quiet time to myself) and looks to continue on in a crappy way (seriously, where is my quiet time to myself?) bur I have…

Watching It’s a Wonderful Life, getting ready to order sushi.

My relatives are in town from Luxembourg. My 12 year old cousin, spawned from Lucifer’s left testicle, has been calling me Sasquatch since I arrived, and bullying my heavy set niece and nephew. I bought a Darth Vader PlayStation. Emptied the box, filled it with charcoal, wrapped it, and signed his name to it. The…

Congrats on future VonQuesito! <3

I am flying 100% solo tonight. Just me and a pizza.

Are you kidding me.

Man, my wife and I moved from NYC to Seattle last spring / summer and did the drive. I had some fun on the drive, but because of timing, we pretty much had to Cannonball Run it with only a detour to see her family, but here are my tips to stay sane:
1) try and limit any day to less than 8 hours of driving. 6 is kind of…

I was thinking MomsTeachTeens.com.

.... Jesus? Is that you?