I had a really good guy friend, and ended up living with his girlfriend when she was looking for a roommate (and I needed somewhere to live). BIG MISTAKE.

We had been dating for 9 months. I told him I couldn't go to his birthday party, when I was actually planning a big surprise for him. So I showed up with my awesome gift, to find him there with his other girlfriend :(

I used to work as a teacher. Saying "Chop chop!" to the kids is one of the only acceptable ways to tell them to hurry their little asses up before I just LOSE. IT.

The worst part is that he's a UVA alum. That school is really getting a bad reputation this year.

I bite my toenails after taking a shower... And I know that's really weird, but it makes me happy to know that I'm still flexible enough to get my foot into my mouth

HOW is this not always illegal?! Sick.

Whoops... Overeager scrolling :/

Good point!

How did the 9/11 story not make the cut?!?! That was the worst of them all...

Ha! My parents said the same thing about AIM. So I just got an AIM account and never told them about it. Basically, if you ban it, they'll do it anyway and lie about it.

A distant cousin told me that at her daughter's wedding, the groom's parents refused to accept a rose during the mass because they "didn't approve" of their son marrying this woman. They later gave a toast to the bride and groom's future divorce and eventually had to be escorted out of the building by police.

The best ones were the "Reduced Fat Lemon Pastry Cremes". But those are long gone :(

When I was seven years old, I went to a sleepover for the first time. We split into two groups: girls that wanted to sleep, and girls that wanted to stay up. I was staying up with some other girls, when someone started a rumor saying: "Kelly said she's going to rape Natalie!" Naturally, I had never heard the word…

Hahahahaha! Awesome ;)

Ha! That would have made for a better story.

As previously mentioned, I think the joke here is stick = penis

I just started dating this guy a few weeks ago. We met up for drinks last night, 4 blocks from my apartment. He drove, but I walked. When we left the bar, I invited him back to my place, and he asked me to drive his car (since he had waaay more drinks than I did).

Yusor dancing with her father at her wedding, just a month ago. The Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ourthreewinner… has more pictures of the victims, and talks about what beautiful lives they led.

You're my favorite commenter <3

I know people in Wisconsin who eat ice cream year-round. Probably because winter in Wisconsin is almost year-round.