I'm eating black bean taquitos and watching episodes of Chopped. Team Aarón Sánchez forever <3

It's not even riiiiight!! Cajones = dresser drawers. Cojones = balls. Por favooooorrrr

Cajones = drawers (like, dresser drawers). Cojones = balls.

When I was in 8th grade, I had been "dating" this boy for two months. I realized we would be going to different high schools, so I decided it would just be best to break up. He threatened me, saying if I broke up with him, he would kill himself. Yeah right, thought little me, and broke up with him.

TODAY I FOUND OUT THAT I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!! Allll the feeeeels

Meh. La Oveja Negra in Madrid has always had dildos.

This is one of my worst nightmares. I trust that "faux" means FAUX, NOT REAL ANIMALS :(

I could watch this all day <3

He's been cuddling up to me all day! Unfortunately, he was also running around like crazy and biting my face from 4am-6am. I'm hoping it's a kitten thing and he won't do that forever?

I would pay for a bikini wax! That shit is expensive but I looooove it.

I ADOPTED A KITTEN THIS WEEK!!!! It's my first time having a cat! Yaaay!!!

I have a very sad cat story!! :( I tried to adopt a kitten from the ASPCA yesterday, but the girl working at the adoption center told me that I couldn't until I could prove with a letter from my landlord that I can have a cat. I went home and emailed my landlord, but I found out he's on vacation until Monday. At this…

Pescaíto fritooooo!!!

A prank is unscrewing the salt shaker cap and laughing when someone pours 1/4 cup of salt on their food. A prank is NOT setting someone up to get raped. That is sick.

THANK YOU. I think it's entirely possible that he thinks they're just good friends!

Hey there! It's entirely possible that he has no idea that you like him. Maybe what you're interpreting as "flirting" is not; I mean, I can go get lunch with a guy friend and it's not a date! I had a really good guy friend for YEARS who always had a girlfriend. Then, one day out of the blue, he tells me that he's in…

WHAT. Okay, I filled out the Gawker media survery and when they asked at the end for additional comments, I wrote "BRING BACK LINDY WEST!" (I was drunk at the time and thinking of Laura Beck). So I submitted it and then realized what I had done, and thought, "Oh... At least we still have Lindy West!" AND NOW WE DON'T…

Best of luck!! I'm sure you'll do great, wherever you go. You're a very talented writer, and tons of people here will follow you :)

I have a complex about sending things back... I would get soooo embarrassed as a kid, because every time we went out to eat, my dad would throw a fit about something stupid and yell at all the waiters and the manager and whoever until we'd get free dessert or something comped. I just can't do it. Or if I really do…