Snow White & the Planeteers

His perspective is important ... I overlooked the Snow White story ... make me see what he saw

Well, just like my Deadspin-related resolution a couple years ago, it will be to never again visit a G/O site that used to take up a significant portion of my time.

Yeah, this ep was a big ol’ pile of yawn. I feel like the giant bowl photoshoot was way cooler in the producers’ minds than in reality (I know for a damn fact that the agonizingly drawn-out bit where Ru “got angry” was cooler in the producers’ minds than reality). It seemed like the expectation was that the queens…

This guy won’t be missed.

NO GIRLS ALLOWED THEY’RE GROSS

That or the eventual disappearance of gas stations as we pass the EV tipping point.

They’re trapped 20 feet off the ground in a chair, getting blasted, groin-first, with a massive torrent of ice-cold water. That’s a hell of a lot different than “getting wet.”

the only action movies we will be allowed to like will be 90 minutes of slaughtering white male C suite executives

If I’m reading your subtext correctly, you’re implying the presence of an intoxicated alligator?

Alyssa comes out in a feathered Eliza Doolittle gown

I don’t actually think any Lego cars need anuses (I mean, a few anuses here and there can’t hurt)

Ah, the ol’ Serf & TERF.

A guide:

0:00-6:50- No LoTR freestyle.
6:51-7:01- Generic “here we go yo” filler.
7:02-7:11- One rhyme about Legolas, seen in article above.
7:12-7:43- No LoTR freestyle.

LOL

At $55,000, Would You Spice Up Your Life With This 2009 Porsche Cayenne GTS?

“Intentionally crashed his plane,” “performed an inspiring tribute to Harrison Ford,” potayto, potahto.

Lackula

Oh.

This show stars Tim McGraw playing dress-up and starts with “a brief montage” of civilians dying by inept bumbling and it wants to be taken seriously?