That already exists. It’s called The Proposition. 

I hope it's better than The Babadook. 

“Dude, chill the fuck out.”

Dude, you paid for a movie ticket/cable and received a movie/tv show. End of contract.

Oh, I’m so sorry for you. You were only 5 and you did what 5 year old do.

Why? My understanding is that as a pedestrian you have to follow the law for pedestrians. Meaning if there is a sidewalk you have to use it. If there isn’t one, you can be in the street as long as it’s against traffic.

Neat little fact: the “crosse” in “lacrosse” means the stick itself. In other words, lacrosse is French (or bastardized French-Canadian) for “the lacrosse stick.”

Leave Sly and the family alone.

I mean, should he even be embarrassed about that? Pretty much every boyfriend I’ve ever had wants his ass played with/fingered.

The only joke she seemed to have genuinely taken was Patrice’s bit about The Poltergeist/Gorilla, which she then basically inverted to show how rape-y/disgusting they were.

This is the reason Trump is leading the GOP race. These people who watch Fox News, listen to Limbaugh and Savage, click through to Breitbart and InfoWars. These outlets don’t offer reasoned debate. It’s always The Sky Is Falling, pitchforks at the ready, turning up the fear dial to eleven. It’s scary to think that the…

A guy I know on Facebook was all up in arms about this situation, saying it happened because our President is weak, and if we have a strong President, the Iranians never would have tried anything. Standard hot take stuff, whatever. I thought the real gem was someone he knows:

I tried to confront somebody on this the other day, and his opinion was that Iran should have seen these soldiers in their waters and totally ignored them.

My wife had Fox News on last night when she went to bed. The woman and her two guests repeatedly talked about how embarrassing it was and how these soldiers were forced to do things they didn’t want to do and that it was basically an act of war.

Thank you, Tyler. It’s kinda lonely in the ‘sane people club’, innit?

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

Jesus, why does Gay have to be so flamboyant?

That's not how candy crush works.

I feel so bad for this guy but I can't stop laughing.