I’d love to hear an interview or two with fans after they’ve run out on the field. Hearing their motivation, how they decided to do it, whether or not they regret it after seeing all the legal trouble that comes afterwards—I think it’d be really interesting to get in their heads a little bit, because I just can’t…

“FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE HEISMAN”

You could find out your dad has another family in Green Bay that thinks he is a life long Packers fan.

Says the guy who’s obviously never been to prison...

Maybe they just planned to buy an elevator in Britain?

???

He’s more like a stormtrooper, missing all those shots.

Abby the Labby is deeply concerned about that baby polar bear.

WHY would they resuscitate the foetus?

So true. The prices are insane, you can’t see shit, and the other fans are the absolute dregs of humanity. Why people ever go to NFL games is beyond me.

Chief of San Diego Chargers Security: You remember how dangerous that Oddjob guy was with his hat, don’t you? Think about these guys using those turbans as a weapon. They could roll ‘em up like a towel and give you a right good sting. Probably leave a mark.

Making fun of women’s looks: just what I come to Jezebel for.

No, we would blame him for making the choice to adopt that ideology.

At this point, if you’re an NBA player, “dating/marrying a Kardashian” seems to be right below “burying your face in a mountain of cocaine” and “going to Grant Hill’s foot surgeon” in terms of career-damaging decisions.

I just hope the colony ship does better psych evals on the crew than the one from Prometheus.