My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

You are correct, sir (or madam).

I’d be all like

Oh yeah, that’s literally the first course you’d give someone walking in off the street. Gotta go back to basics, Tom!

Right. Remember his girlfriend was sent to whatever Scientology jail/hell is just for asking Miscavige to repeat a sentence she didn’t understand. You really think they’re going to tell him the “cookie stuff” has been right in front of him the whole time?

What’s weird about it is that they can’t tell him that it’s right there. It’s not about the cookies.

Cruise is a known moron.

Tom sounds like he is 12

The best part of this is that Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini are still tight so she must have approved her quotes being used in this book—or they’re tight enough that Remini knew it wouldn’t ultimately matter.

Fuck this dude. He sounds like an annoying asshole.

I can not say anything bad here, for I am like the buzzing of flies to him!

If you think a minor traffic infraction remotely justifies attempted murder: Fuck You.

I agree. Donate some tampons and pads to a women’s shelter. They need stuff like that. Putting a black spot on your hand will do fuck all to help domestic violence victims.

Hildy was a crazy bitch.

good lord, I miss this show. it was a weekend marathon staple in my house.

Matt Damon, stop talking. Just stop.

No one in that crowd has a purdy mouth.

Also, is no one else concerned that this rally looked like something out of Deliverance?

This was a gag order?