Ok. Here’s one of mine. I seem to be a celeb magnet for some reason, so I actually have a number of stories, but this is the best one. (I’ll post it here so it hopefully gets out of the grays.)

Oh, and you would all love the lobster puppet show.

After grabbing handfuls of that cake and shoving it all in my mouth and over my face like a 1 year old ruining his own cake at his first birthday party, I would have treated them to an interpretive dance routine to the most obnoxious Christmas carols I could think of, sung at the top of my lungs. Just to start. And…

I would have ruined that party so thoroughly and completely that for the rest of their lives, any time they went to any party ever, they would think back on the subway party and just go home in case I showed up.

When the aide tried to take the mike, it reminded me of something...

I know.  I think they need to slip a few xanax in his bedtime Big Macs tonight. 

No it isn’t.  Just don’t.

You are responding to a bad faith troll who has managed to get itself ungreyed despite the new policy.  Nothing you say matters to it. 

Me too. I spent some time looking through Flashman Wade’s Instagram. I believe he is saving America through the power of the dickprint. He has my full confidence.

I also got up early and was at the polls right after they opened.  Bonus is that I can wear the “I voted” sticker all day and remind those who haven’t yet what they need to do.  Now.  

Protect yourself.  People think this is just harmless talk.  Until it isn’t.  Seriously.  Times have changed.  Be very careful around this person.

It will be the same boring excuses people have always made throughout history for supporting fascism and authoritarianism after it comes crashing down. And it always comes crashing down. Every. Single. Time.

I will never not dismiss trash trolls.  So don’t even bother. 

His sister must be more forgiving than I am, because if my own family said that to me and about me, I don’t see how we could ever come back from that. 

Oprah could show up at Fox News studios right now and every last person there would act like every other person in the world does when she shows up. She should offer Ingraham a job just to watch her step over every last person at Fox to take it.

“I think even hell you can survive. Hell is not that bad. I’ve been there.”

I don’t care.  I’d watch Will Smith eat lunch. 

In 2016 there were a lot of people who were embarrassed to say they were voting for Trump, and that messed with a lot of the polling.  And now we seem to be seeing a similar effect, only in reverse.  That’s just my feeling, but it sure does seem to be the case.  

I do wonder however, why no vampire ever seems to have heard of a napkin.

AWESOME!