Or if it is a meeting at a modeling agency, invite the entire worldwide staff, and bring doggie bags.

How do you get people to stop saying “Okay” after every sentence to everyone? There is once person in my life who does this, and I am sure if I strangled him, there isn’t a jury who would convict me.

Those are the reasons you don’t want to skip medication...

My head is going to figuratively explode.

Take advantage of songs they are introduced to by other means. My son was playing a video game where one of the background songs was “TNT” by AC/DC. I overheard him mutter, “This is a pretty cool song.” I went over to my CD collection (yes, this was a few years ago), pulled out “Back in Black” and said “Let’s put…

How the hell can you dance to “Bohemian Rhapsody”? Queen is fine, but do something like “Another One Bites the Dust”.

The late fees are typically something like 5 or 10 bucks a minute. Most people can’t afford to use it as an extended day option.

The mom in the picture is so busy, she doesn’t even have time to get a freaking manicure.

An orange peeler! It used to be that they were only given away as prizes at Tupperware parties, and I have actually attended several only because I hoped to win one.

My sister has celiac disease, so I know the struggle is real. Unfortunately, there are waaay to many people who remind me of this:

You know those sales receipts that say “You saved $X.XX” at the end? When I get home, I take that amount out of my wallet (rounding up to the nearest buck) and put it in a jar. At the end of the year, it’s enough to cover all of my spending money (meals, bar tabs, etc.) on my annual “big” vacation.

Looks like stacked stone to me.

My favorite salad is the one someone else makes. I love salad, but I hate the shopping and chopping. I would weigh 105 pounds if I could get someone to make me a big healthy salad for lunch and dinner every day.

It’s pronounced “Jizz”-modo.

A different sort of diaper bag hack: Use a diaper bag instead of a camera case or computer bag to carry around expensive electronics, especially if you are traveling with kids. There aren’t going to be many thieves who will spy a vinyl bag covered with pictures of teddy bears and think, “I bet there’s a $2,000 camera…

“Was it planned?” What the hell kind of question is that? Never mind the fact that I was 29 years old and wore my wedding ring.

When I was pregnant, I was surprised by the number of times I was asked, “Was it planned?” What the hell kind of question was that? Never mind that I was 29 years old and had been married for 4 years, so my pregnancy wasn’t exactly a shocker. 

The worst mistake my mom made eating-wise was enforcing the rule that you couldn’t have dessert unless you cleaned your plate. To this day, it is very hard for me not to eat everything that is served to me, even if I am full. But I learned not to be a picky eater.

It works when you are arguing about childcare as well. :-)

My SO tried to claim that he was shouldering fully half of all of the chores, so I said, “If that’s the case, let’s trade. If they are truly split equally, you shouldn’t care either way”. Easiest argument I ever won.