Nor should he try to fuck anybody, since it'll pretty much always result in him getting a black eye.

"Anton died so we could live."
"Like Jesus."
"Oh, fuck."

Followed by Felix commenting on his big dick: "The weirdest people get one."

Alison freaking out on shrooms, jumping in a bounce house high as shit, and blasting all the hypocritical assholes in her community? Yep, that's definitely an easy A.

This is by far the strongest album I've heard this year from start to fucking finish. It's modern, it's experimental, it's introspective as hell, and every song's a goddamn gem. If Randy Marsh is the future of pop music, I'm all the fuck for it. Ya ya ya!

No surprise at all. Watched a few episodes and found myself bored out of my fucking mind. Allison Tolman deserves another Fargo-type role instead of this shit.

And now to play the depressing waiting game to see when, or if, Carrie Coon gets her own starring series. I'm looking at you, FX and HBO!

That Peter and the Wolf bit early on in the season was fucking masterful.

The A.V. Club
I HAVE COMPLAINTS

I'd like to think the real ending is of Wrench knocking down the door and blowing Varga's fucking brains out, then blankly staring at Gloria before walking out like the badass he is. But seeing him kill Emmit as justice for Nikki was pretty damn satisfying enough.

Please tell me we get an update on Sam Witwicky's pot brownie-obsessed mom in this sequel. She's the only character in any of these goddamn movies I ever gave a fuck about.

"The answer is always the good stuff."

Every day he doesn't snap and murder the entire Pied Piper gang is a miracle (although I'm sure Gilfoyle would be a challenge to kill).

His response to Amy contemplating about her genitalia was especially great.

"Will, take the ball and tell 'em why."
"Balls are the only thing keeping me from choking on cocks. Without balls, I'd be swallowing dicks whole just like Joey Chestnut."

He's Jonah. Of course he tried to masturbate. Wouldn't be surprised if he tried to have sex with a hooker a day later.

I lost my shit when he couldn't stand seeing himself on the yellow cab's video screen to the point where he demanded to get out. Classic insecure Dan.

Whoever wrote his lines tonight deserves an award too. Those insults were so deliciously brutal.

"Ezra has more raw political talent in the tip of his rosy-head pecker than you have in this mangled abortion coat hanger you should be ashamed to call your body."

I'm willing to bet it's all in the name of Satanic irony, or maybe he genuinely believes McCain and Palin are the spawns of Satan, which I wouldn't argue with in the slightest.