The random Asian housemate saying he was staying out of it was the best part. They really nailed the formula of those shitty reality shows.

Greene, Rocky.

Fucking hell, as if we need Kevin Hart's cancerously unfunny "comedy" plaguing the world even more.

I really should've seen that incest bombshell coming. It was so goddamn obvious. The Blossoms sickeningly defending it was a nice fucked-up touch, though.

"You're not planning to blindfold me and hide me in a bomb shelter with limited oxygen and send my family cryptic notes about how to find me in a race against time for my life?"
"Who are you? Collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene?"
"What?"
"Who would go through all that trouble?"
"Johann Schmidt, a.k.a. the Red Skull in my…

"So freakin' weird."

Great, a review that's posted more than a fucking week before I can see it. Just make it more agonizing for me!

The fact that he said it to his cat-robot made it all the more hilarious… and disturbing.

"If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep."

Never thought "I can help!" could sound so cheerful and somber at the same time.

"There's a view?"
"There's a smell."

At least this didn't get the dreaded C+ that usually plagues the first superhero movie of May. Ticket already fucking bought!

The lines in the B-plot were just as great:

American Dad! Discussion Thread: “Casino Normale”

"More like the Butt Brothers!"

So we've just jumped to Jasper talking and Melissa becoming normal again just from the two of them laughing in a police car?

That was such a great fucking surprise. We actually saw the top of his head. Now he just needs his own story with the Belcher kids. Please, writers, we need this!

"I like those outfits."
"Thanks."
"I put on spandex once. I couldn't get it off for a week."
"Uh-huh."
"Man, went to the E.R., doctor said if I was even five minutes later, I would've lost a foot. That was a fun Easter."

At least she finally left when she had the chance. Her leaving Buddy high and dry right after he announced the end of his campaign was classic fucking Amy.

"Fuck fog" was my favorite.