"Deceiver! Worm! Scum!"
"Now you're just repeating yourself."

"We're here for little Ernie's birthday party."
"You don't want this."

#HireJostSculptureInstead #ItLooksBetterThanTheRealThingAnyway

I lost it when he brought the accent back during the closing speech and made Baldwin bust a gut as he walked offscreen.

Cali, Dennis, Jerry, Rocky.

Just the fact that they named themselves "The Chainsmokers" is enough for me to hate them immensely.

It's always great to see Louie again. He just knows how to commit to even the simplest of sketches with his natural deadpan, from rapidly batting those hilarious eyelashes to hiring Bobby as a birthday clown out of self-loathing. But that last sketch had to be my favorite, if only for the way he and Kate futilely…

"Hello, Mr. Andrews. Looking DILFy as ever."

You lost me at Zach fucking Braff.

So it's a mediocre child custody dramedy starring a bored-looking Captain America and directed by the guy who did both Andrew Garfield Spider-Man movies? How the fuck did no one foresee how bad this would be from the start?

PRO: There's no more smurfing live-action.
CON: It's still a smurfing movie about the Smurfs.

"They don't speak English, dumbass!"
"I do, little bit."
"Then shut up! [gasp] I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the day you've had. God, the week…"
"The life…"
"Shut up!"

"Poovey, I swear to Christ, I will kick you right in the… genitals."

And she still knows how to fuck with Archer.

"Plus tip."
"How about the tip of my cock?"
"So, in that scenario, would I take your penis in my hand? Your mouth?"
"Asshole. Wait, no I mean… not… Goddammit."

Fuck, this sucks. But at least it ended on a perfect note, a rarity for any show these days. FXX is gonna have a damn hard time finding a replacement as funny and original as this series.

Danger zone's back, bitches! Bring on the phrasing!

I'm sure every emo twenty-something in the world collectively orgasmed at this news.

"Are you going to Portland?"
"Noooooo. Portland is hella white."

Alexander Skarsgård really is a fucking pro when it comes to playing villains, and man, did he make Perry terrifying. The way he playfully described himself as "the monster" to his kids right after beating the shit out of his wife gave me damn chills.