I’m not sure which is more pathetic:

Laura has responded:

I thought conservatives loathed* higher education because of the liberal bias?

“For analysis, let’s now turn to Senior Deadspin Commentariat Correspondent Lying Cat. Lying Cat, what do you think?”

Time to bring Hank Scorpio to East Lansing.

Flagged for hate speech

Putting up your home equity to payoff a prostitute is far too selfless for Gordon Bombay.

Couple theories: 1. The pizza was purchased before they scored the blow. Notice it’s not been touched. 2. He’s not into blow, but she is. Notice she’s the one chopping the lines. He’s got the blunt, which naturally leads to pizza.

It better have ham mother fucker

Except in the video above. Or at every strip club buffet lunch ever. And Rob Ford’s funeral after party. And everywhere Rib Ford ever went ever.

Lena Dunham is gonna be PISSED.

ProTip: Never try it in a Hammock

We call the shaker stuff “Toddler Marching Powder” around here.

This just in — Odell Beckham is 25 years old and very rich.

Then you haven’t lived my friend.

Yet again, no invite for Eli...

Odell Beckham Jr.: Yeah, I took them all, dog, with some parmesan - and I think my arm is gone?
Andrew Luck: No, it’s probably numb.

Eating food and doing blow isn’t a thing.

Better ingredients, better pizza

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.