Belichick is probably *losing his mind* right now, because someone else beat him to a way to manipulate the rulebook. He’s probably sacrificing a virgin torturing a child in his dungeon going over the rules with his assistants even as we speak.

I read this as “self roughing the passer” and was scanning to see where Flacco hurt himself.

I’m always fascinated by businesses like that McDonald’s and that Jack in the Crack that have their own parking lots.  I’m just like....how? 

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

He was initially charged with reckless driving but after review it was determined the guy wasn’t set and the call was reversed. 

Seriously, does this look any more ridiculous?

OH CHRIST IT STINKS

I am a first responder in that I am the first person who responds to an email saying there’s left over food in the conference room.

“Sorry, Professor Coach. My medication makes it look like I’m asleep or staring at my phone sometimes.”

Bears would be 4-0 right now if it weren’t for fucking Aaron Rodgers pulling an Aaron Rodgers in week one. I’m not getting too excited because I know they’ll eventually rip my heart out and blow the season, as they are the Bears. But Jon Gruden’s getting an Edible Arrangment sent to him tomorrow

Well, to go with a variance on Chris Canty’s phrase, “Bills gonna Bill.”

This is awful but the scariest part for me as someone that was a junior at VT in 07 and leaving a Randolph hall class (right beside Norris hall where the shooting happened) is that I am becoming desensitized to news like this. I will never forget that day (4/16/07) and the effect it had especially on the ones who lost …

HitchBOt Was A Pile Of Trash That Got What It Deserved remains one of Burneko’s greatest curmudgeon takes

That “2 Amendment” jersey should be the cover of the future text book, “The Rise and Fall of the American Empire, 1776-2020"

The Browns are your friend from high school who works at a hair salon but posts inspirational quotes from like Thoreau on Facebook.

I’d have gone with something more topical

Fantastic.  Another Chickenhawk who fetishes the military but never had the balls to take the oath and put something meaningful on the line when he had the chance to do so.  I wonder if his excuse for not signing up was bonespurs or a heart condition?

Is it really that far fetched to say that the future of our military depends on young boys sustaining serious brain injuries at a young age, affecting their impulse control and decision making skills while also making them hyper aggressive and violent?