I was trying to find the scene where she rubs Tom Skerritt’s head and says it feels like “snoballs” but could not verify the line and thus my journalistic integrity prevented me from quoting it based on memory. 

Oh lord... I don’t know why this didn’t pop into my head when this topic first came up, but your friend’s ruse made me remember. It wasn’t me doing the convoluted lying which is probably why I didn’t think of it. Off to write an epic novel length post of the biggest con that got pulled on me....

I am glad. I have wanted to tell it many times, but I always stop myself just in case—no matter how unlikely it is—my listener meets my brother one day. I still feel I must protect him at all costs.

Awww poor kiddo. You handled it awesome. I have some hellacious burn scars on my upper chest that really are from a ridiculous cooking accident. Strangers don’t generally ask but I have had a few people be curious after I’ve got to know them. I now have the story and the pantomiming down perfectly to explain the story…

2o years later, my other brother and I finally told my dad. He knew the exact day we were talking about, laughed so hard he had to take off his glasses, and thanked us for not telling him a minute sooner.

My son did something similar when he was a child. As a toddler, he was attacked by a dog. This left him with significant facial scars. He hated the questions from adults & kids. I get kids being curious but adults should know better. It was hard on him and he didn’t know how to respond. He really just wanted to be…

Oh my sweet child! Listen to what Phoebe said, this was not your fault, you were all in survival mode!

well sounds like you didn’t get a lot of love or support at home so it kind of makes sense

travel hook-ups are great! i promised my french girl that i would come back one day. i did not know it would take 13 years and completely losing track her and then finding each other on myspace again... but we’re married now. :D

Created this burner to share a secret I’ve kept to myself for many years.

I wouldn’t say this is my most complicated lie ever, but it was 100% complete bullshit made up entirely on the fly for a state-wide standardized test. During my 7th grade Ohio Achievement Test in writing, one of the two questions was “if you could spend one day with any fictional character, who would it be and what…

I’m a terrible liar. So I never lie.

I was 8 and I’d gotten locked out of my house (this was back in the early 90's when you could be an 8 year old latchkey kid and no one cared). Hey Dude was on and I really wanted to see the next episode, so I tried all the windows to find one that would be unlocked. Unfortunately I couldn’t get to the windows because…

I hope you know that this is not your fault. You were just a kid.

I told a small lie on a resume that then became a complicated lie.

I couldn’t even manage to pretend to like the people I worked with, let alone carry off any kind of complicated scheme.  Seriously, I work from home now.

My most complicated lie, which is ongoing, is to convince people around me that I can’t lie. And everyone believes it. I’m always saying how I’m a terrible liar. Then every now and then I lie then immediately cop to it, usually with a laugh and “Man, I suck at lying.”

In the 8th grade my elderly history teach died suddenly mid year (and at his desk). We had a very nice school regular sub take over. We had this huge year long project that was assigned day one and was supposed to be turned in at the very end of the year that was a large chunk of our grade. It was supposed to be this…

Getting my dad to his surprise birthday party on time, JFC. My brother called him and said his car had broken down at the golf course (the birthday party venue). He said, “Call your mother, I’m out with your sister” and hung up.

Not exactly a lie I ever “told,” but more of a lie of not telling.... once I dripped nail polish remover on an end table at my mom’s house, and it ate the finish off the wood in about four dime-to-nickel sized circles. The table is in a corner of the room, between the couch and the wall and mostly hidden by a large…