My list wasn’t in priority order, just three independent reasons. I’d group schadenfreude in with my number 3.

Dinics has the best sandwich in the city. And then you can go a couple stalls down and buy a garbage bag full of wings for like $30!

True. Sixers are tied with many teams for last place, as of today.

Your math needs some serious review. But aside from that - here’s how I think most people would break down their goals as a sports fan:

I thought this was gonna be another Donald Trump story.

Albert is frothily composing another post detailing how Hinkie almost caused the apocalypse.

In size - yes. In flavor? No friggin way. It’s a mediocre slice and I can point out 20 better spots near City Hall.

I think the real story tonight is that the Wells Fargo Center now has a Shake Shack to go along with the Chickie and Pete’s crab fries.

He has definitely shared his wife with the guys at Sturgis.

The Ginger Hammer would argue that Osweiler’s play hasn’t been bad... it’s just that we just don’t understand it.

They handed out a ton for free to a lot of community groups and schools, and had a lot of giveaways - like sign up for a partial ticket plan and get 5 free games. But no, technically they didn’t cut prices.

I’m completely in agreement with this - but it seems at odds with your first statement.

That’s not quite true. They became the worst draw as a road team, but their home attendance was decent. And it’s not like he fans were clamboring for Iggy - if you listened to WIP, he was the biggest disappointments since Larry Hughes.

Maybe his balls really are deflated.

Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Chris Christie. It practically writres itself.

I can think of one locker room where this might happen:

You’ve been doing it wrong for years!

Please don’t call Nate Parker a hurricane. He’s a drizzle, at best.

The Gunshow Poophole: When you try to stick your entire arm up your ass, but there’s no room because your head has taken up all of the available space.

I’m not that young. I was 4 for the Super Bowl Shuffle, so I vaguely remember it. I still think cheating and a cover up is more embarrassing than the Pats response.