If you regularly video chat your gf where your presumably male roommates have the opportunity for shenanigans, you’re gonna get shenanigans.

Brandon:
He liked to strip near-naked in the background while I was video-chatting my girlfriend.

“Today the US Attorney brings charges against Michael Avana.... Avanti... Avennnot gonna practice law anymore, anyway.”

That would make such a great slogan. “Papa John’s pizza. Tell me how my ass taste!”

The proposed deferred prosecution agreement calls for completion of an education course about prostitution

I can guarantee you there’s loads of examples of people that lived how they wanted, eating whatever they wanted, and dying early. There’s probably also loads of examples of people trying to be healthy who end up living long lives. And there’s probably examples of loads of people trying to be healthy but dying early…

i wonder if he’ll get accepted to jale.  

Grit 'n' Grind sounds like that time as a teenager when I dry-humped my girlfriend on the beach.

Whoa! whoa! whoa! Get those facts out of here! Our President got opinions!!!

I’m sure the accountants and lawyers at Tesla know how to do their job correctly. This incompetence is coming from senior leadership.

Of the four people in the photo, two aren’t wearing blackface. So I really only blame the two people in masks and the photographer who presumably also came up with the caption. I am worried the UT Code of Conduct only allows for punishment if all the involved parties are punished.

I’m so conflicted about this.

so, a single person is in the wrong for not wishing to give up their preferred seat for you? So you were snotty to them the entire flight? Wow.

If if a person picks their seat, and is happy with it, why should someone switch with you because you’re not happy with yours? I don’t understand the feeling that people are entitled to sit next to their significant other. 

If they only ran one loop, they would have gotten their 6.4-mile split across then ran on to the finish line without doing the second loop.

And you'll tell anyone you can about it any chance you get.

+1 Krakauer

When my oil arrived there was a big scratch on the label. 1/5 stars. I have no thoughts on the quality of the oil itself.

“You know that maladjusted, self-satisfied, absentee parent we hired who hasn’t seen his kids for more than two days a month since he spends every waking hour berating his players for perceived lack of heart and failure to live up to his unreasonable expectations? I bet his kid learned a lot about football from him!”

Hey pal, didn’t you see the sign outside? It says no anschlussing