I’m from north east England, not London. The global elite don’t live here. They don’t visit either.

The boyfriend is an ex ice hockey player, I love maple syrup and we’re British, so we only talk about the weather until we’ve known someone for a good 10 years (at which point will will open up emotionally and discuss traffic too).

I voted, thanks.

There is pretty much nothing else we can do right now. Laugh and check property prices in Scotland, Canada and Australia...

Also a very popular choice! The 48% seem to have basically settled on emigration and Canada is in the top 3 choices I’ve seen discussed today. Have you got lots of room?

We’re currently in the middle of a thunderstorm here (I think it might be the end times?), so the cat is hiding in the wardrobe and I am about to climb in there with her. Hospitalisation is plan b.

But this one is a doozy. Do we not get extra dumb points because 52% of the population are unfamiliar with the concept of consequences?

That sounds like a plan! I’ve spent most of today trying to work out if I need to marry my best friend because she’s German, and that would allow her to stay, or marry my boyfriend because I’m the qualified one and we’d have to be married to be eligible to emigrate to some places.

The fun bit now is trying to find an unfucked place to emigrate to!

I can't really laugh at the stupidity of these. I'm British, so we lost the right to call anything else dumb today. Or ever again. Because we are completely fucked.

Newcastle, UK :)

I’ve had some success with cheap vodka, white vinegar and sports washing powder stuff. It only holds the stink off for an extra practice or two though - it seems like once stuff gets stinky, you’re only ever going to hold it off for decreasingly shorter amounts of time!

Same. Prior to derby I had also never asked anyone to smell my elbow, or felt strangely proud when they did and grimaced.

Elbow pads.

Does anyone have any good tricks for getting blue dye out?

Have you tried colour stripper? My natural hair is black, but I’ve been bleaching and going primary colour red for years. Colour stripper lifts is right out and I can get from red to platinum in about 2 hours and for £10.

I’m super pale with freckles and I’m loving benefit’s shy beam highlighter. It’s almost matt, so doesn’t cause the overly sparkly snow princess effect and it blends really well.

Ah sorry! Next year! ;) worth the travel, maybe!

Oooh! Were you at Beach Brawl?!

They’re sometimes ‘jogging bottoms’ in the UK, which I have always accepted as being perfectly normal, but now I think about it, sounds kind of odd.