NFL: you abused the sacred ball and we will flatten you with our justice hammer

Tom Brady agrees to forget about the whole thing as long as someone, anyone, gives him a high-five.

Charlotte Ross will reprise her role as Felicity’s mother in the show’s fourth season

I sighed at the prospect of Chris Hemsworth Ghostbuster news when really 95% of what I want has to do with the ladies... but yeah, that photo is the exact amount of adorkable needed for this morning. Thanks, Odinson.

He wears a lot of rhinestones.

Now I actually want to see that character. What would Lhense Flayre look like?

You mean Lhense Flayre, the dreaded bounty hunter who uses bright light to blind his quarry into submission.

What are the “Knights of Ren?”

So, because Lawrence Kasdan “wasn’t where he was at” when he was asked to script the prequels, we get Jar Jar and soliloquies on sand. Thanks Lawrence, you shit taco.

Would imply that Luke or Leia lost track of one of their kids.

J.J. Abrams famously turned down the job directing The Force Awakens, until

So does that imply Kylo Ren is one of Vader’s grandkids?

It’s this “Integrity Of The Game Certification” upon which the NFL has hinged its four-game ban on the Patriots quarterback

Nope, this is the first time a player has been made aware of it. They're citing a rule he's never been allowed to see to punish him.

Tom Brady’s appeal has argued the code doesn’t apply to him; indeed, only team owners, presidents, general managers, and head coaches have to sign it. (There’s no reason to believe players even knew it existed until it was used to punish Brady.)

“ or artificially increasing “crowd” or other noise levels in a stadium during the reporting period.*” So is this the same Breach of integrity the Falcons got a slap on the wrist for?

(X) The GM made a terrible decision and seriously overpaid some other player and, because in the NFL contracts are not really contracts, and because you refused to take a paycut to make up for our mistakes, so long, been good to know you.

3 seems way harsher than 5 to me. 5 is like “You’re good, but this other guy is a little bit better.” 3 is basically saying “You suck.”

Last one is especially cold. You busted your ass and are one of our 53 best players. But we can do better. Fuck you very much.

(X) You have consistently failed to pay the Club's fart tax and remain delinquent.