Have you any idea how it feels to be a Manbot living in a Fembots’ Femputer’s world?

I love how people objecting to public figures saying ignorant, incendiary shit is a crazy phase and not a struggle to become decent beings that don’t repeat the heinous bullshit of the people that came before us.

They redacted everything tangentially related to the five hookers he murdered.

No, but seriously, Craig James killed 5 hookers while at SMU.

But imagine my surprise when [detectives] found her there!

I think we need to leave her alone a little bit here. A belief in a person’s innocence despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary merely makes her a typical Patriots fan.

Don’t we all kind of want Wes Welker to stop for his own health? Wes, it’s cool; we like you and you can just do Molly and go to horse races for the rest of your life.

Louis C K on kids and shoes:

Go look for *thing* in your room.

“Put your shoes on.”

Just wait until the Thruway Authority gets wind of this, there’ll be an EZ-Pass kiosk every 20 feet.

I’m trying to find the part where they answered the question.

Isn’t this in Belgium?

You forgot the most important part - If, for some godforsaken reason, you find yourself flying Spirit Airlines, be sure to have a suicide prevention hotline number to hand for the inevitable delays, cancelled flights, and “don’t give a fuck can’t fix it”-itude of the gate agents.

This is a golf-poop story, so I figured Drew would like it:

You won’t be so thrilled when they have a dog kissing a tree on Kiss Cam.

Wait, is there no netting behind home plate at Pirates stadium?

You do know some of your readers are Deaf right? Not all of us can just “go over and listen” to your shitty ass podcast.

likely a reference to the 7-year, $153 million contract that lured Ellsbury to New York.

“You have selected: No”