Marist would have whooped both their asses.

Coooooooop! He's the best Manning brother of all. If he didn't have that f'd up spine, he'd be cramming so many touchdowns down your throat every Sunday that he'd make the other Manning brothers look like the Detmer brothers. True story.

Mustache Intuition.

If he didn't take a shot to the head, how did he get a concussion? Was it one of those "chest concussions" we're always hearing about?

I remember them. How else would I be able to use the adjective "Detmeresque" to describe QBs like Brian Hoyer?

I have a high school friend who is gay, and he's always posting FB pictures of parties where he seems to be drinking all night with hot guys and having a blast. I'm married with two kids. I'm trying like hell to choose to be gay, but so far no luck.

I think that perhaps the Seahawks, as they exist in Pete Carroll's mind, have become just too fucking awesome to tolerate any of the actual Seahawks players as they exist in reality.
Next up, "Richard Sherman... get rid of those damn sideburns!"