I’m not going to say I knew it, but I fucking knew it. Good on those especially studious fellows who stayed for class instead of being used as props by that barely human-shaped glob of mild sauce.

I love your belief in the goodness of the universe. May all the bears keep you safe.

Every time Eminem gets owned, she eats a Pizza Hutt/Taco Bell. Eventually, she’ll qualify for her own state representative.

No one loves my cooking, but no complains.  Lazy mofos.

Most anything rubbed with oil and sprinkled liberally with salt and pepper baked at 375 degrees for roughly forty-five minutes is almost tasty. I even did it with turnips once.

Somebody said the quiet part loud. Remember when Dole got to run for president because it was his turn?

This looks like some shit from a Cronenberg movie.  I’ll pass on the new flesh.

I can’t even hate-watch this asshole. Something about his self-satisfied smugness makes even me, a gentle, kind, loving, transcendent, fresh-scented, hero-shaped being of pure light and wonder want to break his fucking fuck fuck jaw.

The animation is the cheapest garbage animation I’ve seen in twenty years.

Of course they’re not the media! They’re his special friends. Like Mister Rogers was for me. We used to hang out all the time when I was three.  Later on, he got a tv show and we didn’t see each other as much, but he’s still the same guy I knew back in the day.

Any kid living in a state where people vote to have the bible taught in schools already knows too much bible through osmosis.  These laws and classes are just virtue-signaling for pharisees.

Tell that to the goblins that take a wrong turn in the caves beneath the White House.

That’s kinda dark. How about “the spot where Trump dropped the last chicken nugget of his twenty-piece meal, bent to pick it up, split his pants, tripped over his tie, and found himself in a full body cast for the next two years?”

Leave me alone, Mom! I have allergies!

What are these “comfortable pants?” Asking for someone who wears cargo shorts all year unless important business very cold need pants.

They’re mostly crazy eyed mugging and the pounds of prosthetic makeup are the only thing that really distinguish one figure from another.

Anything else about this century on your mind?

Since Trump has assured us that thousands of criminals are coming across the border, they can step right into those jobs! Your argument is as elegant as a Mobius strip.

Generally, I just smart off at Trump once a day. 

If their intel is that good they should probably point out the bad guys to Mexican authorities before they hurt someone in Mexico.