How did they miss Taco Bell in Demolition Man? And everything in Idiocracy?

I feel like there must be a place with thousands of these dudes.  Somewhere they keep them in cold-storage until they’re needed by the powers-that-be. It’s it that Men’s Warehouse I keep hearing about?

Someone lit him up with a sixteen-second acoustic song about “Forrest Trump.” It involved covfefe, a smocking gun, and a desire to be amonymous. I can’t find it now, unfortunately.  Maybe someone else can.

She’d tell you that her soul feels fine and that you should watch Crocodile Dundee and lighten up.

Well, bully for you, Mr. Fancy Hulu-Man!

Everyone is so hard on Miller’s appearance. People need to focus on the truly awful shit he does and Benjamin Button-up about how he looks likes he chose poorly.

“When media caught up he sprinted across the street to the First Baptist Church of Charlotte’s parking lot.”

HeroineSheik @TheHeroineSheik

Oregon beaches? He’s building that seawall in Nebraska, dammit! He met a guy who read a book about that invasion one time who was a big fan.

“I just talked to the King of Prussia. He says that if reach far enough into my own asshole, I’ll be God-Emperor of a whole new universe!”

Can you show me on the HamNo where the Hulk action figure touched you?

Clearly, anything a Huckabee eats is full of Satan’s jizz.  And a shit-ton of calories.  So, caveat empty stomach.

Many football fans have the attention span of Boo Radley.

Boy, thank God America’s position of leadership in the world didn’t rest on an intricate web of soft power and alliances...

Personally, I’m glad The Swamp has been drained.

She didn’t say anything anti-Semitic. And the only white people willing to say anything that might be somehow seen as anti-Semitic are dumb fucking wannabe klansmen. Israel’s got us cowed. We’re all either praying for the apocalypse or afraid of being called Nazis.

This really isn’t that bad of a deal for him if he wrangles a pardon for himself and his favorite child.

“I... like... to... eat... people.”

Yeah, fuck that “good person” shit.  She could bring a cake to my mom’s funeral and I’d tell her to hit the bricks.  And to take the cake with her.