Not gonna lie. I've been saving this puppy for a Jalopnik Storm Area 51 post. My time has finally come. 

My take away from this article is that Zack is trying really hard to convince people he has a gf.

Parents. Parents buy this for kids, just like the 3DS. It’s amazing how many of you still don’t understand Nintendo. 

I’ve got your back, and my suspicion is that we’re not in the minority on this one. My entire family loves Hopper. 

Yep, it’s like Chevy said “let’s make it look like a Lambo!”, then marketing said “well it needs to look on-brand”, so they just Lamborghini’d the Camaro’s rear end and called it a day.

So now it has begun. Meaning that Kamala Harris came, saw and kicked ass and now she has become a target of the media and yes our dear friends at Splinter who love them some Bernie and Mayo Pete. For all you so called progressives that keep bringing up her record as a prosecutor notice she hasn’t run from it. For real…

Yeah, Bernie, don’t even look over there at Kamala, you don’t want none of that fire she was throwing at Joe, you felt the heat on your neck and made the smartest move of your 2020 campaign thus far, not to get involved. Kamala wasn’t having it, she would have fucked you up, too.

That's funny. I thought NASCAR went left.

FCA should cash in on the trend and offer different color options for the covers.

I wish my life was so awesome that the biggest problem I had was whether or not other people were removing yellow plastic protective bits from their cars.

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Developments seem to occur every 6 months. That will open the door to the realization that chaining multiple passenger units to a single motorized unit is even more efficient.

How long before they decide that pavement is liable to potholing and rutting, and invent some sort of extruded steel sections for the vehicles to run on, to ensure the vehicles have a smoother, longer-lasting track to travel on?

Giant-Man punching that space whale made me cackle like a mad man in the theater. Fuck yeah, Scott Lang. Fuck yeah.

The only thing for me that even compares to that Cap moment is seeing Vader in action at the end of Rogue One.

I swear, the second Mjolnir twitched my dick did too, because I immediately knew what was happening and it was GLORIOUS.

Its obviously powered by an Arc Reactor 

Because Mantis can conceivably control somebody? And the Wasp can kick ass at any size?

THIS. All these “fat Thor” takes are just so bad. Thor was fat not because of video games, but because he feels personally responsible for deaths of half the universe and is depressed about it. His mom tells him to eat a salad because she cares for him, and knows that being overweight isn’t healthy. Rocket makes fun…