This sounds as genuine as “no diss, but... (insult).” You’re saying a bunch of negative things about people. Why not just own that, and have that conversation, instead of being all passive-aggressive and trying to pretend like you’re saying something neutral? Cuz it’s not like anyone’s buying it.

It’s funny how things start off with “this fantasy is caused by patriarchal indoctrination” and end with “it’s absurd to say that culture is totally irrelevant.” I’d imagine that people would be more open to discussing what they get out of their kinks and where they think it comes from if the discussion didn’t start…

Thanks!

Mkay, well, don’t expect tons of support from other survivors if you aren’t willing to show them support, too.

No, but it turning your stomach isn’t really relevant, either. If there was evidence of a causal link between watching rape porn and then raping someone, that would be relevant. (There hasn’t been that evidence.) But “it turns my stomach, as a survivor” isn’t actually a great argument for why the feminist position is…

Those “if there were no consequences” studies aren’t really reputable studies, and have a lot of methodological issues, though. As for the actual number of male rapists, it’s about 5-10% of men (based on Lisak; Swartout).

No, I had the rape fantasies before being raped, as well as after. I have never gone to a sex therapist asking for them to make my rape fantasies go away - I was lucky enough to not grow up with parents who sent me to reparative therapy to fix my gayness, I’m not going to start going to a therapist to fix my…

Erm, no, my fantasies about violent gang-rapes aren’t “seduction, bodice ripper” fantasies, they’re rape fantasies. Also, I’ve been raped, I know what it’s like, and it didn’t make the fantasies go away - but luckily, after listening to a bunch of radfem bullshit, I did spend several years hating myself for still…

But, when researchers looked at the connection between rape-simulation porn and perpetrating rape, they found that it was abysmal as a predictor of who would rape, and that so many non-rapists also had it that they very strongly recommended not allowing evidence of their porn collection as evidence of their committing…

So, you don’t judge any woman who has those fantasies, but you do judge anyone who would be open to role-playing that fantasy? Please just openly shame me, instead of being so passive-aggressive about it.

No, many of us have *rape fantasies*. Not seduction fantasies, not dub-con, rape. I don’t actually want to be raped, duh, but as a fantasy, yup, that’s what it is, and coming up with other names for it just distracts from that. If it happened to me IRL it would hands-down be rape, so I dunno why we can’t just be…

How come?

So far, yeah, it seems to be doing really well. It was the big movie at my local film festival, and the theater was packed. Pretty much all the queer ladies I know are going to see it (if they didn’t already), which is unusual for a group that leans towards waiting till it’s on Netflix.

Normally, I’d agree with you, but: Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett are amazing in it. And it is a wonderfully done film. Really, truly, spectacular. We don’t really have that much in the way of quality lesbian movies, especially with happy endings. So I’m kinda fine with them both being straight, if it means having a…

I desperately want Carol to set off a vintage revival for lesbians. But based on the lack of company I had cosplaying the premiere, it seems we are doomed to our current jeans-and-flannel uniforms...

If only you wrote for Jezebel!

Oh, come on, that’s not even close to what I was implying. You’re clearly literate; I trust that you have read many, many books by straight cis women and men. But don’t pretend like you’ve all read Stone Butch Blues when you clearly haven’t. And as much as I cringe at hearing cis gay men decry the inclusion of the T,…

Lol like anyone at Jezebel has read Stone Butch Blues.

Meryl’s got a lifetime of feminist activism under her belt, lending her support to a variety of feminist organizations and causes. You really think her problem is that she hasn’t read Joanna explain what is meant by the term “patriarchy”? You might be very new to feminism, but Meryl isn’t; treating everyone who…

“She wasn’t even a Christian until four years ago.”