Hmmm, maybe you should be my business partner.

Summary: NO is the right answer.

And delicious! Don’t forget a jaunty hat that looks like a pat of butter.

You sure packed a lot of funny into one little sentence.

This is why we need a professional juror system. We have way too many idiots in this country and can’t be trusted to do the right thing.

Don’t bother, he’ll just dismiss you like he did to me.

And he’s gained at least 20 pounds of chunk since these photos were taken. He definitely has a couple more chins now.

Hmmm, I think you are on to something. I know there are dudes who pay to watch fat ladies eat. Maybe there’s someone out there who wants to see me binge-watch Vikings while wearing lingerie.

Oh fuck off. I’m a woman and would not have acted like that. And I’m gonna say it: that baby is ugly.

Seriously. I have Olympic-level laziness skills but no one seems to value this amazing trait of mine.

Ugh, this is awful. I almost bought one of those things a few days ago because I was feeling ambitious after reading some food blog. I guess my laziness finally worked in my favor. Poor woman.

Can someone please make sure the lakes on his FL golf course are filled with angry alligators? Or maybe we could import some aggressive crocodiles from S. America. I would like that very much thank you.

Most of these fonts are completely harmless. Some are easier on the eyes than others, which is why people switch their defaults. My department is required to use geneva and so far no one thinks I’m a sociopath. Better advice: don’t use weird script fonts or colored backgrounds. Otherwise, do whatever the fuck you…

That is insane. I have no memory of it. But I loved my cousin’s 6 Million Dollar Man doll because he had a cool bionic arm.

I have no sympathy for you! Everyone told me I looked like Eddie Munster when I was that age (I’m female).

I can’t wait to see what they do after the hipster beards - my guess is body modification. Ken will have stretched earlobes and a split tongue and tattoos everywhere.

Did you read the final paragraph in the article (I don’t mean that in a snarky way)? Guess what is coming next?

This is my all-time favorite comedy sketch (I don’t mean it’s my favorite Monty Python sketch, I mean it’s my ALL TIME FAVORITE.). It’s just so perfect.

I just went and looked at the wonderful photos in the slide show. These kids looked fantastic and happy and I love those pink shoes so much. The parade of outfits before the Prom is such a great tradition. But it also made me sad to read that some of students had never been to Detroit (an hour away) and it was also…

I just realized that I only saw the movie once, when it was out in theaters. I was probably 10 years old and I have been calling people hosers ever since. I need to buy the blu-ray.