His blood pressure looks like it’s 190/160.

Would rather fuck the goat, tbh.

“Excuse me sir, yes, before you assault me could you wait one moment? I need to strap on my GoPro. One sec, one sec.....sorry the strap is fiddly...”

I’m not generally a fan of American Girl (I just find the dolls kind of creepy, though I don’t really have a rational reason for it). But that is a RIDICULOUSLY cute doll.

My mom’s theory is they’re actually fraternal twins who got plastic surgery to try and pass as identical, which explains their normal-looking yet kinda weird faces.

Yup. The first instance that popped into my head was that Duck Dynasty guy saying some stupid, homophobic shit a year or two ago and he got suspended from the show because the network hosting it decided that they didn’t want to be aligned with that bullshit, and then everyone (well, on the right) went nuts about…

People acting like they’re entitled to a presumption of innocence in public opinion drives me nuts. Same as when bigoted idiots say something bigoted and idiotic and then start screeching about free speech when they get fired or kicked off their tv show or criticized by the public in general.

That’s weird, I always thought Kate Moss had a lot of experience with fresh powder.

And it’s BCO all over again, suggesting that the onus is on the victim of the clearly abhorrent service to go to extra lengths the make amends lest if ‘affect everyone’. Alternative take: how’s about the restaurant staff take that into consideration before they open their big, stupid, homophobic mouths?

Wouldn’t that be DTSFA?

Why not pay half of it in April, and leave some money in your savings just in case until you’re more financially stable a few months later? You’re really not going to save that much by expediting your repayment by a few months, but you’re taking a big risk if you have an unpaid credit card balance that starts accruing…

I also finished a tube of Chapstick without losing it for the first time in my life,

I was laid off last night from the production company I was working for last night.

How is everyone tonight? I’m feeling super accomplished and adult-y. I’m starting my new job on Monday, so I spent all day prepping meals and they smell delicious and I want to eat them all.

thank goodness for you! I hope some of what you said stuck!

It’s a little more than “not exactly what happened.”

I agree, and I also don’t think it’s unfair to single out someone whose idea of feminism appears, and very publicly too, to be that all other women must support her at all times.

This tweet about Dr. Luke is my personal favorite. Especially considering Dr. Luke was one of the producers on her breakout Since U Been Gone:

My husband’s grandmother at her 100th birthday party (attended by the city mayor): “I don’t let them give me flu shots. You have to give death a chance.”