You’d be a terrible terrible person if you quit eating pig, and the terrorists will have won.

You misspelled Bacon.

To be fair, these two teams are irrelevant except for these two guys. The skill level in caps-pens was at a much higher level.

I am willing to convict based on that mustache.

Good point, he really used to stump ‘em with that move.

When he’s at peak-laugh, he looks like ‘Ders.

Yep. I have not attended a Panthers preseason game in years, but I still pay for those tickets in full every year. The really sad part is seeing what excuses people come up with to not accept them for free from me. I have had people tell me they don’t want the tickets when I offer them because they are planning to mow…

But for that money, ticket-holders will get to see their first round draft pick, who could be a #1, play!*

(*A couple of times a year, when the Celtics visit.)

The alien from signs should know better than to attack Duffman.

14 second mark. That’s why you didn’t make the football team Tanner!

I thought the home plate umpire is a pussy and the second base umpire is a tit?

This sounds like it would be fun:
“You’re defending Bill Cosby. What’s your summation?”
“If you knew I was scouting you, would you sooner cut off your pinkie toe or mine?”
“Why do you think suitcases hate gingers?”
“Ray Lewis definitely did it, right?”

Toonces, the Cat Who Could Select a Playlist

“In college, I was up under this microscope everywhere I went.”

In college, I could try to do that, and no matter what, it would mean something, but everyone just wanted something from me. Give me that, Jameis, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Nothing wrong with enjoying the regular season. As an Ottawa Senators fan, last years run to the playoffs where we came back from 14 points out of a playoff spot was fantastic. Every game had meaning and every win was huge, yea we didnt make it out of the first round but I’ll remember that season for the rest of my…

My favorite thing about Millenials love for all things Simpson is that they don’t get the jokes. Burns’s facial hair ban was a riff on George Steinbrenner’s facial hair ban in the 1970's.

The only other time dinger-swinging has worked in Texas is every other time.

That's a fun promotion. The Yankees would probably only let him swing from the left side and if he hits a homer his tickets are free but his kids are triple the cost and his wife has to give handys to the players.