How did they decide who would get the mustache?

Dolphins quarterbacks coach Bo Hardegree.

If it’s not sold by some old Hungarian man working out of a rickety cart adorned with condiments slowly going bad while sitting out in the sun all day with absolutely zero fucks given, I want nothing to do with it.

...there might possibly be the potential for some real change.

The hotel is sticking with the “if it had been called a privacyhole, none of this would have happened” defense.

Fitting, seeing as Rob’s one frappucino away from throwing his back out.

As a Jew, I can say with certainty that naming your kid Isaiah almost never translates to basketball success.

“TL;DR”

The animation sums up my sex life well, a lot of awkward and jerky movements, an attempt at being spicy, and then the shame that comes from all the grease I’ve left everywhere.

Probably just Draper trolling you.

The Rockets have recently been getting more press on Deadspin than Amazon.

the 29-29 Houston Rockets

To be fair, one long-standing truth in America is that if the cops don’t kill you, McDonald’s will.

It would have been great after all the retirement celebrations, if Mariano just decided to sign a two year contract with an NL team.

When it comes to a Couch crashing and burning, I still blame the Cleveland Browns.

Someone is clearly overcompensating for their Yoenis size.

FIFA and GTA should join forces and make a fusion game, where you operate as FIFA execs making shady deals with countries in Africa that most people have never heard of; the occasional blow deal to finance operations; business trips to Qatar that end in opium-fueled, desert orgies; keeping sponsors in-line; and of…

Ten bucks says he has a cold sore.

Houston should have got the Nets involved, as Russians rarely require a physical before boarding a rocket.

It’s actually good for some faces: