Blows them up on Fourth of July, reveals them right before Halloween. They’ll grow back on Easter.

Greyed Status is better than Mounds.

What’s next, a highlight of a tennis player putting the ball between the racket and their shoe and picking it up that way?

You know that virtually any high-school level tennis player can do that, right?
#alwayshighlighttruthers

This kid writes like he’s going to be a washed up NFL punter in 10 years...

You can pry my syrup covered bacon from my cold, dead fingers...

It’s like Braveheart, only with more clogged arteries.

China’s President looks like the dad of the kid who was kidnapped in that Jackie Chan movie Rush Hour. Is that racist to say?

In hockey, they spell it “Primeau.”

Rob Ford’s Darryl Strawberry impression was much more spot-on.

I like how the only time many sports fans give a fuck about sexual assault is when they can reference it in order to heckle a player on an opposing team.

FUCKING LOVED IT

On the bright side, C.C. Sabathia finally has some drinking buddies again.

You guys are the ones that built on top of an ancient Native American cemetary.

"Fuck childhood." —Tim Marchman

I mean, you're wrong. But hey, more candy corn for me!