I am a whore, why would I care if some dude thinks so?

Looks like I must be straight because I think he's totally doable. I like my men worn down.

This seems like actual progress. The guy is worse than a cancer, CUT HIM OUT!!!

Please tell me Drunken Stepfather never gets laid...

The Emperor's New Baby. Only the clear can see her belly.

I would have figured MJB would epilady her hair down there.

After 7 years as a nightclub singer, my gut is practically psychic. I can tell if someone's lying before he bothers to open his fool mouth.

@BringBackTheBustle: Girl, my eggs go off on their own at night while I'm asleep, trying to get themselves fertilized. I keep telling them I don't want a baby right now, but you cant tell ova shit.

I feel I should warn you when you click to enter her site, a video pops up, and you will see Rosie O'Donnell.

@bowlingfordollars: Gladly

I saw Jessica out once, with Jewel. My 85-year-old jazz singer friend was there, Leona, she wears these big blonde wigs that blow everyone's mind, built like a brick shithouse, wears the sparkly Forever 21 type stuff to sing out...she's like a cross between Captain Caveman and Etta James. On this night, Leona leans…

Let's not forget bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan, and never never never letting him forget he's a man ('cause you're a woman)

Drunken Stepfather sounds like Carrie's (as in Carrie) mother.

@lonewolfer: @Trixie from Toronto: It's like she's been holding her breath to keep her skin tight for 15 years and if she lets go or even has a glass of water, everything's just going to puddle around her, like a mushy pile of paper, wet by the uncried tears that could have kept her human. Maybe?

Tyra's goin' global female role model, y'all!

For wives must always be lovers too...

Hmmmmm...it's impractical to think (I have discovered) that because I'm single, I can go out and find all these different partners and really live the wild life, it's a serious safety and health (and emotional) risk. Dudes be fuckin crazy sometimes. Not to mention criminal, which can really take the fun out of…

@Trixie from Toronto: Is it the scarring from the Gap commercials? and the fragrance ones too?

I need transcripts...oh ladiez I want to have you on an hilarious episode of Stoner Neighbor!

What a patent violation of human rights infant genital mutilaton is, and religion's part in it just makes me all the more sure it's rooted in evil. Not that everyone who has their child circumcised is a monster, certainly not, that would be my own mother. But it's true that male or female, a baby or a child doesn't…