As long as Bannon's gin-soaked liver fails at the same time.

Don't forget about the leases for office space for long term secure military communications setups in places he frequently visits.

Doesn't leave much room for the cover of Rush's seminal album "Moving Pictures".

He was so good in "A Scanner Darkly".

Speaking of commitment, I heard somewhere that he did most of the stunt training for the new "John Wick" movie while miserably sick with the flu.

Good point. So far, the closest thing we have to a bona fide "John Wick" meme is that video of Keanu at the shooting range that inevitably gets posted in any article about "John Wick".

(After pinning you to the ground by your throat and shooting three bullets made of cancerAIDS point blank into your chest.)

I think anyone who's interested in the "John Wick" corner of the modern action canon is going to care less about how anyone delivers their lines and care more about these being movies where Keanu Reeves just straight up murders people nonstop for an hour and a half.

Nice try, Yiappleganger. Save it for queen Yiapplepopoulos!

And you thought scraping that bumper sticker off your car was a fun time!

I heard Gawker is offering $10,000 for that foota —

And they'll stay with the story all night if they have to!

If there's a filthy "Twilight Zone" joke in here to be made in poor taste, I can't find it.

Weak Senate is claiming Trump deals in rich, successful Corinthia were unethical - considering forming "IMPARTIAL" commission! Must never have heard about separation of business and state. Disloyal!

Since Triumph gave us the best coverage of the 2016 campaign, it follows that in 2017 we get Masturbating Bear the White House press credentials he deserves.

Given the Department of Education's recent apparent inability to spell anything correctly, it's entirely possibly that Betsy DeVos wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a grizzly bear and a jizzly bear.

It's a disappointing piece of casting, because — and I'm saying this without knowing any of the production gossip — I'm pretty sure the actual Greg Sestero would be game to play "Disaster Artist" Greg Sestero.

I think Franco could pull off a decent adaptation of "Deadeye Dick" if he hits that mid-life-crisis point in a director's career where they give up their mannerist early tendencies and double down on using art to examine themselves. I mean, he's basically shot and killed every idea he's tried to turn into a movie by…

"Every Franco personal project … is born with a “Kick Me” sign on its back … This one even comes with a freebie: It’s got “dubious” right there in the title."

That is absolutely the main bureaucratic reason they do it.