Yeah, but can your stride mother drive stick?

Yeah, so what do you call yourself, eh? Como se BLOWJOB?

Yeah, that actually sounds like a great place to dream about living in, if I had the money.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Does pointing a gun at the devil — or at anyone, really — alleviate your problems?

Yes, but which country hands out blowjobs?

Call me old fashioned crazy, but I'm 100 percent down with making Old Fashioneds or Manhattans with rye.

Is that edwardsnowcare as in "Edward's Now Care" or "Edward Snow Care"? Because if it's the latter, I'd like to pay him to shovel my walkway. We had some weather conditions last night and now everything is mad slippy and I don't want anyone in my building to crack their head open on the sidewalk when they go out to…

Yeah but without Arnold, we wouldn't have INFINITE SCHWARZENEGGER!. So let's not say things we can't take back.

God damnit. As much as I'd love to hijack my school's render farm for the purposes of intelligently buying and selling stock, I guess I'll pass on this one. Not a great long-term financial strategy either way.

I hope that one day my children will shake their heads in confused disbelief when I tell them 50 Cent was struck nine times with bullets to the head, torso, and extremities … and lived!

Buddy, my family is from Kentucky. I think I know damned well how to spell "Agrnnnnnnmnmnmntmrntmnrmtrtrnt".

It did, until Barry (BaIRAQ) HUSSEIN Sotero NObama decommissioned it and —

I am financially ignorant, so can anyone tell me if the following is a good idea?

Supper Club broke my web browser.

I don't understand either, but I also can't take him seriously after reading a profile in … I think it was Esquire? Anyway, this reporter tagged along for a night on the town with Ryan Gosling, who bought something like five pounds of candy from a bodega and then drove around Coney Island on a sugar high for several…

Hey now, ain't no law againt'it!

Right? I'm currently replaying it for the first time in about five years — well, the PS2 port, which is actually pretty decent aside from the "Invisible War"-style nerfing of the inventory and having to aim with a thumbstick — and I'm legitimately impressed by how well it's held up, especially the now frighteningly…

Nice try, corn, coconut, peanut, sesame and olive lobby!

Or make poutine, because poutine fries are going to get soggy anyway. And if you're making poutine at home you are in any case probably too drunk to care.