I guess IGN's not a fan of that smooth Puerto Rican strange.

Oh yeah, I've seen snakes in my garden soil[1] that are much smaller than your average earthworm.

[Left D-Pad + Square; character lunges and pokes opponent in head with sword.]

"Our books are very short because the traditional tiny pencils we use cramp the authors' hands rather quickly."

Don't be a crybaby, be a trybaby!

Cold to the touch, and it isn't very nice?

MAYBE "PACMAN" IS AN ALLEGORY FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE RAINFOREST, WHERE PACMAN REPRESENTS A BULLDOZER AND THE GHOSTS REPRESENT THE SHAMANISTIC SPIRITUALITY OF DISPLACED INDIGENOUS PEOPLES, AND WE HAVE ALL BEEN GOING ABOUT THIS ARGUMENT IN ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY!

"Great Manufactured Gendered Outrage, Internet!"

SPEAKING OF ASSES WHY DOESN'T PACMAN EVER TAKE A SHIT? HOW CAN AN ECOSYSTEM BE SELF-SUSTAINING IF NUTRIENTS ARE NOT RE-PURPOSED BY ITS INHABITANTS? DIDN'T THINK OF THAT ONE, EH, MR. SMARTY POO-POO PANTS?

PACMAN DOES NOT LIVE IN SOME KIND OF IMAGINARY PLAYLAND WHERE AIR-WEIGHT CRISPY DOTS CAN SUPPLY ADEQUATE NUTRITION AS IF BY MAGIC.

Didn't the frailty of the fight also have something to do with how they kept breaking the lightsaber props, which were basically glass-covered rods spun by motors in the hilt?

He should really have been testing whether it's possible to use a dodge roll to avoid being punched in the face by your friend when you keep beating him at "Bushido Blade" by spamming random buttons.

Next up: It is physiologically impossible for Pacman's metabolism, given his size and rate of travel, to process several times his body weight in food pellets within the span of a few minutes. Also, ghosts do not exist.

Daaaaamn! His "Science, bitch!" is too tight!

I thought the whole point of a lolita was the penis not fitting properly.

The era of Joseph Breen and the Production Code Administration started in 1934, so it's entirely possible we'll have a bunch of "Sherlock Shits" gifs dumped onto Tumblr pretty soon.

How about a Soviet Army ushanka with the flaps turned down? He can solve the Case of the Disappearing Weapons Caches and the Case of the One-Ply Toilet Paper Shortage.

I've known a couple junkies who swish their dope up with saline and drip it into their noses with a Visine bottle.

Warm … and mandatory.

See, if I ran this studio I would consolidate this movie with the Leonardo DiCaprio one and it would be about a bear who shaves all his hair off and disguises himself as a person so he can achieve his dream of playing for the Cincinnati Reds, and chronicles his rise to fame and the lengthy legal drama after bear…