I used to do tech support at a medical school and had lots of doctors like that. My nemesis was a neurosurgeon in whose ability to tie his own shoes I steadfastly refused to believe.

It is because they painted the front door red, and they are allergic to it.

Exactly. As grandma used to say, 'They don't have walking around sense.'

I like my gratuity grilled until it's tender. Please remember that for next time.

And the Republicans gerrymandered their districts so they'll keep winning despite popular vote being against them.

It's not enough.

Both the House and Senate, run by a hate group.

Is it ever a more appropriate time to post a .gif of a man shitting into his own mouth? That's an excellent metaphor for elections in America in general, TBH.

Things that I love more than being called pretty:

I've heard people say that, if you work with chickens, you won't want to eat them, but the truth is that you will still want to eat them after working with them and you will chew really hard.

A rooster would be wasted in a soup. Surely a coq au vin washed down with a vintage red would have been a better fantasy.

SHHHHHHH! Don't tell Mr. Coco!

Holy shit, the entire Caribbean is a level in Dante's inferno where you never fucking sleep because of crowing cocks!

One of our neighbors received a rooster as a gift from his cousin down the road. We live in an urban area. People aren't used to roosters here.

At least he had the good graces to run away! I guess he knew the statues in your area.

this happened to me at a record store. I was so excited to talk about music with someone! Then he asked me out. And confused me blushed and said, "I'm 16." He died of embarrassment and I never went back. And I loved that record store.

I remember asking my parents what "CYBER" meant. They were like "I have no idea." So, I went back and was like "SURE I WILL! I LOVE COMPUTERS."

What kind of cheap bastard won't even spring for cheese?