Despite all your rage, they are still just some cats on a page

Have you considered updating your resume?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your waitresses should show more nipple
Or I'll give you a one-star review

...?

Can you imagine a woman making that complaint? "Chipotle, I'm afraid I'll have to stop frequenting your fine establishment if you don't start serving up some dick cleavage with my burritos."

My brother manages a grocery store, he's heard requests for "better looking clientele" from a customer. Like he can pull some strings and get teh hawties to shop there just to meet requests.

...one Florida politician...

You know what would be an appropriate punishment...

I don't hate religious conservatives, I have some friends who are religious conservatives! But there's no need for them to flaunt their lifestyle choices in public and they should NOT be allowed to have children to indoctrinate.

Seriously. Why do religious conservatives have to be so in-your-face with their sexuality? Can't they just be religious and conservative in private?

Once you pop you just can't stop.

He's just following in the new Windsor tradition, but with his own twist, duh.

As ironic as when you're bitching about typos and write the word "lazyness"?

We had a cat that one of our dogs was in love with and he loved her back. The dog would come up behind the cat, pick him up with her front paw, then hold him against her stomach so she could hump him. He loved it and would back up when she got behind him and move his tail out of the way so she could go to town on…

About three years ago, my dad looked up from his computer and asked me, "OK, so what is this 'teabagging' thing everybody is talking about?"

Turns out the spoiler tag is super, super useless if you put spoilers in front of it.

As a recursive process?

You know what I was doing at this age? Shitting behind my parents kitchen table.

Yea, and I think there is also some privilege snark (Note: "the kid has been playing golf at his parents' country club since he was 18 months old—but he's still not that good!" OH, BURN!)

I bet I can beat him at golf. I bet I can beat him at arm wrestling too.

??? The article is full of snark and deriding this child. It's meant to be funny but it just comes off as really unnecessary.