I wrote a final research paper on victim-blaming for a psychopathology of violence class that incorporated the just-world hypothesis!

Orange/Dutchess/Ulster/Putnam?

It's all part of the game, my friend.

No cure for that except arson.

My manager at my last job before going to grad school posted, as her FB status at the very beginning of January, "What is this new moon?? This new 2014 moon?! I see no moon!(feeling disappointed)" She wasn't kidding...

Can I have that recipe plz?

Some people are so stupid that I wonder how they make it outside every day without walking into the front door.

BUT NOT RED

So...what's the difference between male semen and other varieties of semen? Inquiring minds want to know.

They have a magic ability to always go lower. Don't challenge them. Don't look directly into their eyes.

I don't think anything would be enough, honestly. My dad said "Well, let the Republicans do their damage to the country and people will vote smarter next time" and I said "Yeah, but that involves letting the Republicans do their damage to the country."

Why do I feel like those insults were stolen from Tracey Jordan on 30 Rock?

YES. Glad you're grasping the message. You want to say hi in a Starbucks or on a subway platform, go ahead, as long as you're respectful. On the street? NOPE. A MILLION NOPES.

Not cool man, not cool.

My main experience with turkeys was the year my parents sent my sister and I to horse camp. The campers spent most of the day out in the stables, shoveling manure. One particularly sadistic counselor told us that anyone who managed to catch a wild turkey could spend the rest of the afternoon inside in the air…

I think it's only in her book:

Do you follow the Bloggess? She has a similar story of insane turkeys her father brought home, who used to terrorize her and her sister.

Tell him what?

He didn't "mysteriously disappear." Someone decided they were going to do the HEROIC thing.

Also, they NEVER shut up. I did volunteer work in Zambia, and there was a rooster there that I developed a homicidal hatred of. HE WOULD. NOT. SHUT. UP. I had fantasies of snapping his neck and making him into soup.