“I called Kobe when I was still playing in Orlando and asked him what I should do. He’s the one who told me to do take 1,000 a day.”

It’s Snyder. It’s always been Snyder.

as long as we get a “dong for a dong” scene I’m all in...

I’m not going to freak out until I hear Madagascar has closed its borders.

I kind of meant, “you should write more stuff for Jalopnik so I will read it, rather than young adult fiction, which I would be less likely to read.”

I paid about a hundred bucks to nhl.tv so that I could watch Ranger games from where I live. The Terms and Conditions stated that games broadcast on national TV can be blacked out from my subscription and that the schedule for nationally broadcast games was not made more than a week or two in advance. What they didn’t…

“Let’s see what’s in the funbag today!”

Inspections are a racket.

This is a good reminder that the vast majority of men are not tweeting shit like this. Getting tired of this being treated like a societal issue, instead of an issue with an incredibly small and incredibly loud minority of men.

How does this not have more stars?

It’s okay, squirt. You’re a Yankees fan. Wait a couple of days and something good will happen to you.

every grift begins with kay.

No, just marginalized.

I also daydream about assaulting 5th graders. Let's hang out.

This was like watching the dead Viking, engulfed in flames, rise from his pyre, chug seven or eight beers, and start piloting a ship towards an island in the Bahamas.

IF YOU CAN’T TRUST THE ARISTOCRATIC PATRICIANS WHO RUN A MULTI-NATIONAL UNACCOUNTABLE ORGANIZATION, WHO CAN YOU TRUST?!

Sharapova should sue the ever-loving shit out of them. How many millions in endorsements did she lose over this?